A THING CALLED LOVE

I’ll admit it, I am the person who is always happy and my happiness is somewhat contagious to others. But these past few days, I observed that there is something different in me as I am sad, want to be alone at times, and seldom speak. I don’t know why but looking at the things that are happening to me, may be I have a clue…….. love.

I am 31 years old turning 32 this August 2012, I can say that I seldom fall in love since I got matured. I can also count in my fingers the girls that I have affectionately admired. Working also with different companies does not give me the privilege of courting women as I am always busy… lots of overtime and sometimes juggling two works at the same time. But when I reached 30, things became different, I started to fall for a girl…. I can say that the feeling was good…. always inspired. I can also say that as a lover, I can do anything that would be required by such relationship. But things became different when the girl said no to me. I started to pity myself up to the point of cursing my condition, thinking that if I am a normal person, things would be different. Despite the no that I received from her, I kept loving the person only that communication and our relationship toward each other became adamant.  There is even a time that I blamed myself … that if it is not because of my courage to court her, our friendship will not be ruined. Come March 30, 2012, the day when she decided to leave the company, I send her messages expressing my wish for her…. that she would be safe… that she would be always in good condition whenever and wherever she will be.  That day, I regret myself as I was not able to talk to her personally, but I said there will be another chance for me to talk to her personally when she have her clearance. However, HR people told me that she applied for clearance on the day that I left for a vacation. But I keep hoping and praying that if possible, I can see her again just for the last time. I have proven that somehow God heard my prayers as they were granted when she took her clearance. That day, I had my courage to talk to her but was not able to express my real feelings about her.

February 14, 2012, Valentine’s Day, I thought of something that would differentiate my experience on that occasion. I requested my mother to buy a half dozen of red roses and send it to the office with the name of a girl. That girl, she is graciously beautiful, worthy of all the respect, and someone who definitely inspired me. I don’t know if it is courting but everytime that nice things happen to me, I have something for her, be it a simple bar of chocolate, or anything that I thought would make her happy. Another that I like about her is that she knows well how to appreciate everytime that I gave her something and it gives me much inspiration. As it is in my character, which I accepted to myself, that I am “torpe” I had my bestfriend in the office to serve as a tulay. I told him that I am just amazed by how the girl appreciated anything that I gave her however I also told my bestfriend that I still have an admiration to the first. Come the month of May 2012, when rumors spread that my bestfriend have a feeling to the girl that I gave gifts. At first, I was in denial, thinking that it is not happening to me particularly to be betrayed by my own bestfriend.  Maybe it was also my fault, that I told him everything or it is just being disrespectful on the part of my bestfriend.  Come May 15, 2012 when she also decided to leave the company. She came at the office 1:30 pm, 30 minutes before my dismissal, I decided to wait for her along with other friends. I thought, maybe she will notice my  effort toward her.  But things are starting to affect me when I came to know that she answered my bestfriend and when our colleagues started to inquire like what happened, is he your bestfriend, what will you do. These really affect me to the point of self-pitying myself, and asking questions like am I not a good friend, am I the person who is destined to be disrespected. However, I prove one thing, that I am matured enough in handling things like this. 

FAREWELL

One late afternoon, I came home with my mother smiling at me, then I grab her hand to pay respect. I entered our house and found everything different, it is then that I realized my father has gone, gone in the sense that he joined his Creator. How I miss my father, who I considered my best friend, as someone who was always there for me and for the whole family.

When my father was alive, we, together with my sister and mother are living in a life of joy since he was our guide and that is to say the he was able to guide us in the right path. Though life is sometimes hard for us, we were able not to feel such hardship as he provided us so well even to the point that he incurred lots of credit to various government agencies. What I admired most of my father is his complacency with all the things that came to our family…. to decide even in times of extreme pressure. His professional life is also a thing that I want to emulate since as a government employee, he was able to lead a life with dignity and profound humility.

The life of my father can be said as one that is full of mishaps but one that is exciting to live. He was orphaned at the age of three with his two siblings. They were taken cared of by their aunt who was incapable of raring them in a good way so my father was forced to work at an early age. However, I can say that my father is also one that good fortunes come or should I say that it is through his hardwork that he was able to have everything that he has. With all these, I truly admired my father.

November, 2011, I woke up and found my father unable to stand by his own. I then realized that he suffered complete paralysis. From then on, we took cared of him to the best of our abilities. Then 3 days before his death, he stopped eating and drinking to the point that he was already thin and was unable to speak. December 16, 2011, I attended our company Christmas party but I left soon so that I can spend time with him and because there was something in me that dictates I should be with my father. Comes the morning of December 17, my father left us with silence and peace. I tried not to cry, but I have proven that it was instinct that dictates me to cry. Back then, I felt alone staring at my father’s body. Questions came my mind……. What now?...... what will happen to us……but reminiscing the life that he has …… I found my self thanking him

To my father……… thank you….. and till we meet again.

CARS

It is said that a person can be known through his actions and the way he thinks. Well I believe on such saying and to show you who I am, here are some of the favorite things that I collect from the web.

THE TALE OF THE PHILIPPINE ELEPHANT

When I was a kid I am very happy when I first visited Manila Zoo. This is not because that I live in the province nor because I am excited of the snacks that I may eat during such visit. This is because of the new things that I saw in such place which of course consists mainly of animals. Everybody would agree that the animals present on the zoo are not the same animals that we see in every day of our lives.

One of the animals there that I find great fascination is the elephant. Big as it is, such animal caught my attention. And the more I was fascinated when such mammal started to dance by the sound of a flute. Maybe I was lucky enough to see this mammal which not every Filipinos is fortunate to see it.

Last Sunday, I am deeply sorry that the same elephant I saw during my childhood is the single elephant that we have in the country. Maybe its not amazing to know such reality because to have this kind of mammal would cost the Filipino people 1 to 2 million pesos each. This is so as we are not capable of raising such mammal locally.

My senses start to accept such reality but when I think of the billions of dollars being talked about in the Senate with regards to ZTE scandal, I am greatly dismayed. It come to my mind that if our government officials have the guts to corrupt people’s money for their selfish interest, how come they could not afford to buy even five of this mammal. It maybe the reality that elephants are not part of the day to day lives of every Filipinos but is it not worth spending for this mammal for our next generation not just to see it in picture.

Filipinos.... before casting your votes, think first of what a certain politician can do for you even how minute it is.

EXECUTION

Our history would tell us that in order to achieve a gloriouus era for our society, execution should be implemented. This is being reiterated when Henry VIII of England was executed just for marrying his wife. Recently, the leader of Iraq was executed in front of the public for the crimes he commited against his countrymen. Japan has also a long story of its leaders executing themselves voluntarily for corruption that they have inflicted to their country.

With all the misfortunes that are happening in the Philippines, I am longing for a person who probably would initiate the assasination of our leaders who continouosly plunder our beloved country. I may sound murderous, but it is the only thing where public service in our country can be done by our leaders without endulging themselves to corruption. Another is, street revolution may brought us to nothing but shame to the international community. Such revolution is always done when we are tired of our leaders endulging themselves to corruption. For this, let us try another forum by which we can change our leaders and their attitudes toward governing our nation.

Execution of our leaders may not be morally upright but it is the only way for our dear motherland to survive and ultimately to regain its lost reputation as the Pearl of the Orient. Moreover, our leaders should be ready to give up their lives in serving their constituents and most importantly our nation........THE PHILIPPINES.

TERMINATION

One of the confronting questions in my entire humanity is that why God has allowed infirmities in His creations. Well, such questions can draw lots of answers depending on whom you are speaking to. Religious would say that it is for those who have infirmities to be strong. On the part of medicine, infirmities of whatever kinds have been explained in scientific way dealing with experiments, researches and other scientific methods. Well, what I am supposed to deal in this blog is the so called Down syndrome which is an infirmity of both physical and psychological in nature and is confronting not only the one inflicted with it but the society as a whole.

What is Down syndrome? Medically speaking, Down syndrome is a kind of chromosomal aberration in which the genetic make up of a human being is disrupted. It is evidenced by the duplication of chromosome 21 where physical and mental abnormalities are manifested by the person inflicted with it. People with this condition can hardly contribute to his community as they are said to be slow learner. But looking and analyzing them critically, we can say that they are even greater than normal human beings as they are very much talented. For the cure of this medical condition, it is still on the process of research. But how can we eradicate this societal scar as some would call it in our society?

One of the practices about this medical condition is the so called termination wherein a part of the ameotic fluid is examined in the laboratory. Such fluid is the one accompanying the baby while it is still in the mother’s womb. The ameotic fluid carries with it the genetic make up of the baby wherein one can see if the chromosome 21 is duplicated or not. The intriguing question about this medical process is if it is indeed found out that there is such duplication in the fetus’ genetic make up would it mean the termination of the life that is in the mother’s womb and will result to abortion?

Medical procedures can be viewed in two aspects; the good and the bad. The good point of view of medicine is that it can heal or can even survive life as a whole. On the other hand, the other side of medicine is that it can also eradicate life through euthanasia, abortion and other practices which as a Catholic nation can be unacceptable to us Filipinos.

Our views about Down syndrome can be affected by lot of factors but foremost is the family’s economic situation. Accept it or not, a family with member of such genetic aberration entails much expense, emotional bearings and the like. But great is the honor that should be given to families who have less in life but able to manage or survive a member with physical or psychological infirmities. Also, for this great respect should be also given to mothers who have able to bring their children in this world even knowing that such is inflicted with infirmities.

DESPERATION

Every time I watch the news on television these past few days, my senses are caught by this priest named Fr. Suarez. I am fascinated in him as almost all people whom he comes contact with say that they were healed by their infirmities. Well, I remembered the first time I saw him was on a Sunday Mass being aired at a national television where on the last part of his mass he made a crippled man bound on his wheel chair for a long time walk. I may sound fanatic, but I see in him the persona of Jesus Christ Himself as being reiterated on the Scripture in His numerous healing sessions.

Such action of the said priest brought to the attention of the Filipinos as of today he is roaming around the country to heal people. Well, the reason why such form of healing is accepted in our country is perhaps Philippines is a Christian nation and we have great inclination to spiritual heal notwithstanding that it is cheap and entails less burden to anyone as compared to conventional medicine where lots of drugs are involved.

According to what my professor said in our class in Pathophysiology, there are really illnesses that are without any known cause and such ailments bring lots of headaches to our medical professionals. There are also those psychomatic ailments where any illness is not an action of a particular part of the body but of the mind translated to a particular illness. We Filipinos are also fund of bringing our patients to people other than the medical professionals who claim that they can cure any illness. This is the medical environment here in our country where we have different illnesses and also different ways of treating such illnesses.

But why faith healing? Faith healing is an alternative form of medicine that requires no scientific medical approach but only entails our faith to our Creator. Well, this is the form of medical approach that Fr. Suarez is doing at this moment. What is needed in such form of healing is nothing but only our faith and our patients to forego such medical approach considering that there are many people who wish to be healed through such process. The reason perhaps why faith healing is patronized in our society is it entails less cost compared to scientific approach of healing.

Whatever is the form of healing that we choose to lessen our ailments what is important is we are cured and that for me does not questioned any aspects of our lives. This is so as if one makes access to faith healing some would say that he is less fortunate or if one is surrounded by topmost physicians it is a sign that he is well of in terms of his economic life. What is important is that we are cure of our infirmities so we can be contributors in our nation building.